Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus? He wanted to go to high school. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!. How do celebrities keep cool? They have many fans. What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!. Why can't the sailor learn the alphabet? Because he kept getting lost at C. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold. Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood. Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. What invention allows us to see through walls? Windows. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. What happens when doctors get frustrated? They lose their patients. Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get crowns. What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner's on me. Where do armies belong? In your sleeves. Why did the girl toss a clock out the window? She wanted to see time fly. What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire. What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt. What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues. Why'd the roofer go to the doctor? He had shingles. I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is. Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? It comes with no strings attached. Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around. What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A. When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C.". What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener. What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach. How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny. What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel. What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque. 
Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!.How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.Why did the computer catch cold? It left a window open.What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sour puss.How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.Did you hear about the guy who afraid of hurdles? He got over it.How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.What did the tree say when spring finally arrived? What a re-leaf.When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.What does cake and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.What do kids play when they have nothing else to do? Bored games.My manager told me to have a good day.How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a little horse.How do you hire a horse? Put up a ladder.
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What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon.What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.So, grab a needle and thread because you're about to be in stitches. Better yet, these bad-but-good jokes are just right for adults, kids, friends, relatives (even the ones you don't like) and just about everyone else.įrom something short and to the point or complex enough to compete with your own dad's jokes, you're sure to find it here.
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